We all run patterns of behavior in our life – both positive and negative. These patterns of behavior are either work for us, or are working against us and no longer serving a purpose that is taking us towards something or someone we want to be.
What most people fail to realize is that the patterns of behavior we are running are additive. In the same way a drug addict is addicted to their drug of choice, we become addicted to the patterns of behavior we are running.
Patterns of behavior are defined as:
‘a recurrent way of acting by an individual toward a given object or in a given situation.’
Some of the negative patterns of behavior we see people doing on a regular basis include things like:
- People pleasing
- Poor me
- Being depressed
- Getting anxious
- Being busy
- Being stressed
- Arguing with your partner
- Withdrawing
- Getting it right
and yes there are plenty more that go onto that list – we could literally fill an entire book just on the negative patterns of behavior people run!!!
So what do we do?
Firstly; Acknowledge and identify that their is a pattern of behavior you are running that is not working for you. The same way an addict would acknowledge they have a problem with the addiction of choice (drugs, alcohol, sex, exercise, porn, food etc), you need to identify and acknowledge the negative pattern of behavior you are running.
Second; You have to want to shift this pattern of behavior. It’s great to have people around you who are supportive of you making the change (your partner, your friends, your work colleagues), however if YOU do not want to shift it or change it, then it’s never going to happen. No matter how much sense or logic the people around you are making, if the feeling doesn’t first come from within you then it’s like pushing shit up hill. So yes, first and foremost the want and desire to change needs to come from YOU!
And Thirdly; Find a mentor, someone who have been there and shifted a similar pattern before to support you on the journey. Attend a seminar (yes of course here I’m going to mention that get REAL get HAPPY is the best place to start – it’s where my journey and has been the beginning of the journey for so many others as well).
Once you start to see that you are addicted to running the behavior you can then begin to shift it.
One of the best movies I’ve seen that is both confronting and clearly depicts the power of addiction (and given we know that our pattern of behavior are as additive or more additive as any addiction, it makes it easy to see why this movie is a great place to see how it clearly plays out).
‘Thank you for sharing’
In this movie you can clearly see how this plays out both individually and in relationship. In relationship you have the addict and the partner to he addict. Both people play a role, both people are part of the addictive behaviors. Both people have the opportunity to unhook from the behavior, or stop the cycle at any given point.
So what negative patterns of behavior are your running? How are they holding you back? Are you seeing them clearly or are you in denial that they are actually happening? What are they costing you in life?
Isn’t it about time you took action to creating a life you love, and being in love with who you REALLY ARE?