Sadness: Are you feeling it?
Sadness is an emotional pain associated with, or characterized by, feelings of disadvantage, loss, despair, grief, helplessness, disappointment and sorrow. An individual experiencing sadness may become quiet or lethargic, and withdraw themselves from others. An example of severe sadness is depression. Crying is often an indication of sadness
How long do you intend to feel sad for?
If you want to change it keep reading. If you don’t keep reading anyway and you may by the time you get to the end.
If you feel sad because you want to feel sad, then so be it.
If you feel sad because you’re enjoying feeling sad and choose to stay there, then ok that’s up to you.
If you feel sad and you feel sad about feeling sad, if you feel like your circumstances are causing you to feel sad, if you feel like something happened that’s making you feel sad then I’m sorry to tell you but your ego is just using you again to get what it wants.
See your ego is not interested in your happiness, your ego is only interested in one thing and that is its own survival, and to reach that end it will use you in whatever way it needs to.
When your present to your true self then you can see that sadness is a choice that you can choose to stay in or get out of. The same as any other emotional experience do you have.
When you feel like you’re stuck in it you can’t get out of it you are happy with it like you have no choice it’s the circumstances butter causing you to be sad then that is your ego.
Why would my ego want me to feel sad? What does it get out of it?
The beginnings of the Duality that exists in all of us emanates from our first break in belonging we experience as very young children. The first time we realise that we are not part of a greater whole, more that it is an I and them existence.
Up until that point we had received the experience of being Unconditionally loved although we did not have the words to describe it that would have been the feeling now all of a sudden we notice of separation and that separation detaches us not only for others but also from the true selves connection of its own experience of feeling unconditional loved.
This gives rise to ego which comes to the rescue promising to find love for the true self.
In a moment of infantile weakness of the true self the ego quickly sees an opportunity and seizes it in the moment convincing the true self to follow it on new quest for external love.
And in the same moment the unconditional love that the true self has been used to feeling, that the true self misinterpreted as coming from others is gone, as the true self buys into the egoic idea that love comes from an external source.
As the now ego driven child goes about it’s life looking for love it quickly realises that Love Is All Around and in abundance, there is love from Mum and Dad and from any other family members that it comes in contact with. The ego quickly realises this is a problem as the true self begins to feel loved again, and so therefore sets about sabotaging in some way the love that is coming in.
So as a child growing up we first look externally for love, as the ego convinces us there is not enough love we decide to look for the second best thing which in this case is attention and if we can’t get positive attention we go to the third thing on the list which is negative attention.
So as a child growing up we look in this order
Love
2. Positive attention
3. Negative attention
So now in the areas where you are feeling sad and you feel like you can’t get out of it The cause will be because you feel like love has been taken away. It will be because your ego was getting love or the feeling of love from an outside source and now that outside sources gone or not giving you love anymore the ego will go to it’s second best place and that is to get attention.
And there are few better places to get negative attention than from the feeling of sadness.
For most people they go through life never reconnecting to the true self and the experience and feeling of unconditional love.
The only place however that unconditional love was ever available was from an internal source based in the true self not an external source based in ego.
Once you have that experience or know that to be so then Sadness becomes something you choose to do and not something you feel stuck in with no control.
There is no greater gift you can give yourself than to get in touch with the unconditional love that comes from within.
The true self experiences sadness as a choice the ego experiences sadness as a necessity.
The choice to live from the egoic self as a child was almost forced upon you the choice to do it as an adult is it conscious decision that you can change with a little understanding.
Next time you are feeling sad ask yourself this question How long do I intend to feel sad for?
You may not exactly know the answer as in one day 3 days 1 week 10 weeks 3 months one year or longer, you do however know but the answer is not forever.
Given that the answer is not forever that means there is a period of time that will allow it and then you will stop feeling Sadness.
So let’s say for example that the event has happened that you believe is causing you to feel sad is going to have you feel sad for a period of 90 days. And after that 90 days the sadness will dissipate until it is finally not there at all.
Well my invitation to you is simple given that you are not going to feel sad forever, because nobody has ever done that, I invite you to have a day off tomorrow, feel something else do something else, and then if you wish you can go back to your sadness the day after, and continue your 90 day stint.
Now don’t pretend to be happy or positive if you’re still feeling sad because that is like putting icing on dogshit.
Make a conscious decision to be in touch with the unconditional love that emanates from the true self. Breathe into it, let go of your beliefs and your fears and feel it know that you are enough and that you have always been enough. You do not need anything from anywhere else I promise.
This does not mean you shouldn’t feel love from outside sources on the country take it from wherever you can get it whenever you can get it, there is nothing better than that feeling. This is just letting you know you don’t need it to feel loved.
Follow these steps to feeling loved
- Let go of the belief that you are not loved.
- Be open to being loved and receiving love.
- Know that Love Is All Around us and is abundant
- Give love freely as you would to a baby without expecting anything in return
- Adjust your radar and your Focus to be on the lookout for anything but anyone might interpret aslove.
- Be open to miracles always.
You do not need to feel sad, it is ok to feel sad if you want to, you just do not need to there is another way I promise.
You will also notice that in order to feel sad there will be certain patterns that are running in, thoughts you focus, self talk, you may have to spend more time on your own, you will likely hold your body in a particular way, it is unlikely you are smile.
You see if you get up and get your friends around, put on some uplifting music and start dancing you will start to feel better, there are some action you take that make it impossible to self indulge in sadness.
If you have been feeling sad perhaps it’s time to stop and get yourself in a better state. Life’s full of ups and downs, whatever you are sad about is just a passing moment in time that will take you to the next time you feel happy how long it lasts is up to you.